When Life Stops

When Life Stops

It will soon be almost a year since I was diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time.

It seems like life has effectively stopped for me, leaving me untethered from all that provided me with the structure of daily life. While my work once created the boundaries of my days, now the treatments have taken over that role, resulting in new, smaller borders and limited capabilities.

Depression has set in big time.

Although I have struggled with this much of my life, the onset of this most recent episode started not long after I began taking Anastrozole, which can cause depression and insomnia, among other things. The depression with Anastrozole is different than any previous darkness. It is much deeper and foggier, with fatigue as an added weight.

I’m gradually moving out of this depression, but it is taking time. Still, there is some progress.

I was blessed to be prayed over twice this week, and I feel a lightening in my spirit even though my circumstances are still the same.

Things are changing, and I believe that this spring will bring new opportunities.

Right now I feel the need to focus on recovering spiritually and emotionally after all that has happened this past year. That means more private time, more scripture, more prayer. Clawing my way up out of the darkness bit by bit.

Until my writing juices are up and running again, take a moment to read this article that I wrote for Compassion That Compels, a great organization. If you have a bit of extra money this month, please consider making a donation.

And if you need prayer, please comment on this post with your prayer requests. Even if I can’t hug you or offer you a cup of coffee, I can be there with you virtually, praying and believing.

One thought on “When Life Stops

  1. You know, between your blog and others I read of those of us who have CS, I am thoroughly in awe. You and the other bloggers I read write EXACTLY what I wish I could!

    Prayer is incredible. I am in awe of it, too and I know I need to better work on my prayers. I actually had this epiphany at church last week. WHY haven’t I ever envisioned the Lord as I pray? I am very visual anyway, and best learn that way. I have incorporated that VISION in my prayers and it has changed so much.

    PS, I remember either after my first or 2nd crani when I was out of ICU, I had a young doctor (resident?) come in to check on me. I must have said something to her about faith, prayer, or something because she held my hand and offered a prayer RIGHT THEN.

    I’m getting the chills right now. I wish I knew her name. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s