I admit that it has been difficult to be thankful for Letrozole lately, even if it is keeping me free of cancer at the moment.
It seems like it places me between the proverbial rock and a hard place. Do I take the medication and live longer but with extreme pain? Or do I quit the medicine and feel better in the short term but have at least a 50% chance of recurrence?
At the age of 44, I am too young to become housebound. Even during chemotherapy, I was able to exercise at least one hour per day during my weeks off from treatment. Now I struggle some days to just make it to the bathroom or simply get off the couch.
Also, my thinking became somewhat suicidal last week. I thought everyone would be better off without me. Whether it was the stress of the divorce or the medication, I don’t know. I took a couple of days off from the medicine and feel better. I have resumed taking the Letrozole, so I suppose I’ll wait and see if the thoughts return.
At this point, I’m not sure what I will choose in the long run. I’m going to stay on the medication for now and hope that things improve.
Things have to get better, right? I’m praying that they do.