When Life Stops

When Life Stops

It will soon be almost a year since I was diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time.

It seems like life has effectively stopped for me, leaving me untethered from all that provided me with the structure of daily life. While my work once created the boundaries of my days, now the treatments have taken over that role, resulting in new, smaller borders and limited capabilities.

Depression has set in big time.

Although I have struggled with this much of my life, the onset of this most recent episode started not long after I began taking Anastrozole, which can cause depression and insomnia, among other things. The depression with Anastrozole is different than any previous darkness. It is much deeper and foggier, with fatigue as an added weight.

I’m gradually moving out of this depression, but it is taking time. Still, there is some progress.

I was blessed to be prayed over twice this week, and I feel a lightening in my spirit even though my circumstances are still the same.

Things are changing, and I believe that this spring will bring new opportunities.

Right now I feel the need to focus on recovering spiritually and emotionally after all that has happened this past year. That means more private time, more scripture, more prayer. Clawing my way up out of the darkness bit by bit.

Until my writing juices are up and running again, take a moment to read this article that I wrote for Compassion That Compels, a great organization. If you have a bit of extra money this month, please consider making a donation.

And if you need prayer, please comment on this post with your prayer requests. Even if I can’t hug you or offer you a cup of coffee, I can be there with you virtually, praying and believing.

Nonprofit Spotlight: Compassion That Compels


A few months ago, I was scrolling through my seemingly endless Facebook feed when I happened upon a post about the nonprofit, Compassion That Compels.

Already in the thick of my chemotherapy treatments and struggling with the side effects, I was sick and tired of it all. All of the pain and loss and illness and everything. I had become disheartened by the severity of the cancer as well as the loss of so much, even by that point in the treatment process.

So when I saw the post about this charity that wants to bring hope to women struggling with cancer, I had to click to find out more. After reading the simple and yet powerful mission of the ministry–“to reach every woman battling cancer with a Compassion Bag, reminding them they are never alone”–I decided to request a bag.

These bags are beautiful totes, packed full of inspirational goodies for cancer patients. From the Jesus Calling devotional to the lovely plush blanket, each item is a wonderful reminder that there are people who care, no matter how dark the fight against cancer might get. And that we are beautiful to God, despite what may be currently happening to our bodies.

I was fortunate that someone sponsored my bag, but there are many other women who are still waiting for a Compassion Bag of their own. If you can spare any amount, please consider making a donation to Compassion That Compels.

They are truly bringing hope and love to cancer patients through their caring ministry. Please help them reach others like me and spread hope throughout the cancer community.